Where can I call Home?

Lately, I don't know what's been wrong with me. Nowhere feels like home, like I'm not meant to be here. I've been feeling so depressed lately and I don't know why. I mean in high school and more near the first year of college and such, depression is something I could deal with on a regular basis. Lately though, because I've held so much in within the past 5-7 years, I can't too much of this anymore.

I feel sick to my stomach. I create crappy headaches. My heart's been hurting more than ever, and I mean literally clenching and physically hurting. I'm losing all my energy. I feel this nothingness, and I don't know what to do.

Last week, me and Katie got into a fight, and after we made up, I was still in a bad mood, but at least I could talk to her on a positive note. But seriously, I haven't done this for 9-10 years, but after mentioning something about my sister, I started bawling on her. I really can't explain why. Just something really serious and sad sparked when I said something about Charly, and I just started crying. We were sitting down facing each other, so she just grabbed me, and I just had my head in her shoulder. She's the only person I can do that to I guess, because she's like my caretaker now when it comes to emotional aspect.

I feel so hopeless, useless, and so lifeless lately. Like nothing I do matters anymore. It's been like this for a week or so now. I'm just a big burden.



And great. I start detox tomorrow for two weeks. Well, say hello to me losing a lot of weight probably although I don't want to.